Tag Archives: dreams

Life Dreams

When embarking on the unschooling, life-learning path, a person needs to de-school. This invokes breaking away from the conventional set of wisdom that says a person needs to worry about X, Y, Z or should do Q, R, S. It means realizing certain things aren’t important after all, and other things are.

Each person, each family, will follow a different path. Some will need to de-school more than others. Some will have no trouble stepping away from certain fears, others become even more frightened at the thought of such freedom.

The questions revolve endlessly. How will children ever learn? How will they ever socialize? If no one tells them what to eat, or not to eat,t hen how will they be healthy? If they don’t have a bed time, then how will the adults ever have alone time together? The questions I ask are different than the ones you ask – and our answers will be different as well.

Because my family, my background aren’t yours.

Most of the time I don’t have those fears. I know myself and my husband, and I know my children. They’ll learn and they’ll be healthy.

For me, I’ve had to deschool in a different manner. I’ve had to pull away from the idea that adults wake up, go to work, watch TV, eat, and go to bed. There’s more to life than that and I’m not going to fall into the trap of believing I shouldn’t expect anymore than that.

Over the past year I’ve starting writing again. It’s slow at the moment, but I’ve completed two novels. I’m working on another. I’ve outlined a children’s/young adult story that’s been heartily approved by the girls. I think I’ll finish this one before I finish my other one. lol I find I work better with multiple things on the go.

I’ve also taken up painting. It’s just for fun at the moment, but I enjoy it and that’s the important part. I’ve also been having fun cooking, baking, sewing, gardening….I keep finding new ideas and pursuits. I’m not sure which I’ll stick with, which I won’t. I’m not sure if any of them will ever make me money. None of that matters. What does matter is that I’m showing my children what a full life looks like. They see me spending time with them, with Ryan, with friends and family. They see me doing things for myself as well as my family.

Someone once told me that in order to be ‘happy’ a person needs to have ten labels for themselves that do not involve their role within the family or work force. Only in the past few months have I been able to actually say I’m leading a full life, by this definition. And I feel better than I have in years. I enjoy jumping out of bed each morning (okay that’s figuratively – I really love my bed int he morning) and wish there were more hours in the day in which to chase my dreams (and children).

Have you tried something new recently, pulled yourself out of your comfort zone in order to pursue your dreams?

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Parenting Sacrifices

Every family sacrifices. Some more so than others. But the fact remains that in some way sacrifices are made. Though in our family, and I hope in yours too, the sacrifices we make don’t feel like sacrifices for the simple reason that the things we give up aren’t important to us.

In a previous post I mentioned that if I cleaned my house, my children would be neglected. I’m willing to have the messy (not dirty, just messy) house in order to have time for all the other things. For me, in order to have a clean house I’d need to give up something else. Time sitting with Ryan, reading, soaking in the tub, sewing, baking, surfing the net, writing posts, or any other number of things that I do regularly. I’ve given it up, and I’m okay with that. I wouldn’t be okay if I had to give up something else in order to have the clean house.

I don’t necessarily believe that parents with clean homes don’t spend time with their children, but I do believe they give something else up. For one person I know she spends huge chunks of time with her child – more so than I spend with mine (but I’ll talk about that some other time) – however she rarely makes her own meals. It would be a lot easier for me to keep up with the rest of the house if I didn’t spend so much time in the kitchen. Just ask Ryan, when I cook, I make a mess. I use every available counter space, and every pot or pan we own (and that’s just for scrambled eggs :p). That’s not far from the truth.

The sacrifices people make might not be in relation to the cleanliness of their home, or time spent with children, but something else. Maybe someone who used to read for pleasure no longer does, but has time with the family and a clean home. Maybe there’s something else.

It doesn’t matter what a family chooses to give up. After all, like snowflakes, no two people are alike and therefore no two families are alike. What does matter is that the decision was easy to make and your particular family doesn’t feel like it’s missing out.

Of course I’m not talking about sacrifices that are beyond our control due to life or financial situation. A family with a new baby sacrifices sleep, a family without a large sum of disposable income will sacrifice the live-in housekeeper and chef. There are certain things we can’t change, but others we can.

When our first baby was born we were told, “You won’t be traveling anymore.” Before her first birthday she’d been to three different countries (including home). When our second baby was born, we were told, “You really won’t be traveling now.” She took her first steps in England. Strangely enough no one’s told us we won’t be traveling now that baby number three has arrived. We like to travel and as such we do give up other things in order to do that. Others may not travel as much as we do, but use their money and vacations in different ways.

Life is full of sacrifices, decisions made, determining what is most important to us as individuals and families. We don’t miss having ATVs or a boat, or a pool, or three TVs or cable or a dozen other things, because other things are more important to us.

I believe that in day to day life the sacrifices should be so subtle as to be barely noticed. If you find yourself constantly wishing you had time for X,Y, or Z, maybe look at what you do spend time doing and see if your time has been spent on things that shouldn’t be placed so high on the priority list.

Some people might think we’ve got our priorities wrong, but that’s okay, they’re our priorities for a reason. Do you realize what you give up day after day? Are you even aware that a sacrifice has been made, or was it so natural that you can say “I don’t give anything up”?

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In a Land Called Honalee

I’m 38 + weeks pregnant. I’m a bit emotional, so cut me some slack ; )

Today the girls were  dragons while I tidied after breakfast. I turned on Great Big Sea. Immediately they wondered if dragons liked the water, what colour dragons lived in water, did they breath fire, water, or something else? They wanted a song about a dragon that lived in the sea. This is what they got.

At first I enjoyed the song, memories of childhood drifted along, then suddenly I heard the words.

A dragon lives forever, but not so little boys

Painted wings and giant rings make way for other toys

One grey night it happened, Jakie Paper came no more

And Puff that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.

I sat and cried as I watched my girls playing. One day they wouldn’t be dragons playing in the water. Their pet wolves would no longer run through the house. They’d move on to bigger dreams and their fantasy world would dissolve into a distant memory that they may or may not be able to recall in any detail.

I cried as I thought of that – hopefully – distant moment. Would it happen suddenly? Or would it be gradual? An almost imperceptible move away until one day I’d realize several days or weeks had passed since they’d left this world behind in favour of their fantasy world.

I want to treasure these moments forever. I want to join them in their world and help them bring it to life. But mostly I want to see the smiles on their faces as they battle fierce princesses, splash in a mermaid pool, ride through the forest on wolf back, or what ever tomorrow’s story will be.

Pirate princess

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I Dream of Baby

Last night I dreamed I gave birth. Not surprising considering I hit full term this week. Also not surprising since I’ve spent the last several days looking up everything we might need to know in order to deliver on our own.

My dream consisted of me getting up out of bed, unable to sleep. The girls never stirred, so I decided to indulge in a shower that would last more than five or ten minutes. I placed some towels into the dryer to warm them up, then  hopped into a nice steamy shower and there I stayed. The contractions started. After a few minutes I climbed out, wrapped myself in a warm towel, and had a baby. I nursed immediately and everything was perfect.

Ryan finally got home from work in time to help clean everything up and tuck me and the new baby into bed. It was a nice dream. The outcome was exactly what we hope for – a health mom and baby.

Now the questions remain: What will really happen? Where will I really deliver? Will Ryan be at home, or work?

And the biggest question of all: When will we meet our little Dandelion?

Newborn Love

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